Theology

BETHLEHEM — Residents of Bethlehem in Judea reported that it was anything but a silent night this evening, as they were treated to two different concerts by two young musicians. Eyewitnesses said that shortly after the little drummer boy…

JERUSALEM — A tale retold at Christmastime for thousands of years was shaken up this week, as a newly discovered scroll revealed a fourth wise man who brought baby Jesus the best gift of all: a priceless Lego Millennium Falcon.The discovery…

HEAVEN — A popular question was finally answered today, as a messenger from heaven revealed that God does believe in Jordan Peterson, but only as a metaphorical idea and not as a concrete fact.Though Christians and intellectuals alike had…

THE EAST — According to sources, the wives of the Three Wise Men questioned their husbands over their self-proclaimed title, "The Three Wise Men.""I dunno, that's what all the people at the Nativity were calling us," said Balthazar shortly…

JERUSALEM — The temple scribes and teachers were left in dumbfounded awe as a young boy from Nazareth named Jesus completed the Cracker Barrel peg game on his very first try.The religious leaders had been engaged in heavy debate throughout…

ISRAEL — A local father recently displayed inspiring, unconditional love by welcoming back his son who had asked for his inheritance early so that he could blow it on Fortnite V-Bucks.According to many witnesses, the father's example of…

Growing up as a Christian in America, whenever politics came up in conversation, my response was typically, “I hate politics,” and then the conversation would move on to something more important, like football. Like me, many American…

GALILEE — With controversy erupting over allegations that weather patterns and catastrophic storms are somehow generated and controlled from behind the scenes by a specific people group, conclusive evidence came to light of a Jew…

PEARLY GATES — The gates of Heaven remained firmly closed today as a new atheist arrival tried to bribe his way into eternal rest."Perhaps, this will change your mind," said Eric Farmer as he shook Saint Peter's hand, slyly handing a twenty…

VATICAN CITY — In a new effort to stem the increasing amount of troubling statements coming from the leader of the Catholic Church, new reports indicated that the Vatican had installed a "Heresy Jar" in Pope Francis's office.Though the…