Theology

HEAVEN — The standard revelry that normally accompanies new arrivals in the hereafter was brought to a temporary halt, as a man came to Heaven and immediately asked God to replay arguments he had with his wife so he could prove he was…

UPLAND, CA — A local bald man disclosed that he was not able to take any comfort in the biblical passage which says God knows the number of hairs on his head.Though many Christians throughout church history have rested on the fact that the…

BOSTON, MA — A tense standoff threatened to extend much longer than just the remainder of the afternoon, as an atheist was determined to sit and wait for his IKEA coffee table to assemble itself.The man, a highly educated intellectual who…

Though many people try to make the case that religion and politics don't mix, the truth is that political affiliations have been a part of history for thousands of years. Even your most beloved biblical figures were committed supporters of…

Why Do Protestants Convert? should be read by many, even though it may please few. Coauthored by Brad Littlejohn (a colleague of mine at the Ethics and Public Policy Center) and Chris Castaldo, this slim volume regards conversion…

PEARLY GATES — Newcomers at the Pearly Gates were shocked this week to find the heavenly check-in system has been upgraded, complete with tablet registers that prompt new arrivals for a tip."Okay, we're about done," said Saint Peter as he…

U.S. — Theologians have finally confirmed that when the trumpet blasts to signal the second coming of Christ, the trumpet will be playing the epic ballad "The Final Countdown". Babylon Bee

HEAVEN — The multitudes gathered in glory were hushed into an awkward silence today as a newly arrived Baptist man showed up in a suit even though everyone else in Heaven was wearing Hawaiian shirts and sandals.The man had hoped to enter…

HOUSTON, TX — What began as a pleasant seminar at Lakewood Church devolved into an awkward situation today, as Senior Pastor Joel Osteen was stumped by one attendee who asked him to name three books from the Bible."Ah, boy…oh, gosh," Osteen…

CAIRO — What was initially a startling archeological discovery quickly turned to tragedy today, as climate change activists arrived at the site of the newly discovered Ark of the Covenant, glued their hands to it, and were immediately…