Theology

CAMBRIDGE — Following years of painstaking study about the nature of the afterlife for those who do not go to Heaven, theologians have confirmed that Hell is a nightclub where you keep yelling that you want to go home but your friends can't…

With the ground under America literally shaking today, many began wondering - might God be a tad bit angry at us? We at the Bee assembled the best theological minds to help us discern the truth!Check out these signs God might be just…

HEAVEN — The standard revelry that normally accompanies new arrivals in the hereafter was brought to a temporary halt, as a man came to Heaven and immediately asked God to replay arguments he had with his wife so he could prove he was…

UPLAND, CA — A local bald man disclosed that he was not able to take any comfort in the biblical passage which says God knows the number of hairs on his head.Though many Christians throughout church history have rested on the fact that the…

BOSTON, MA — A tense standoff threatened to extend much longer than just the remainder of the afternoon, as an atheist was determined to sit and wait for his IKEA coffee table to assemble itself.The man, a highly educated intellectual who…

Though many people try to make the case that religion and politics don't mix, the truth is that political affiliations have been a part of history for thousands of years. Even your most beloved biblical figures were committed supporters of…

Why Do Protestants Convert? should be read by many, even though it may please few. Coauthored by Brad Littlejohn (a colleague of mine at the Ethics and Public Policy Center) and Chris Castaldo, this slim volume regards conversion…

PEARLY GATES — Newcomers at the Pearly Gates were shocked this week to find the heavenly check-in system has been upgraded, complete with tablet registers that prompt new arrivals for a tip."Okay, we're about done," said Saint Peter as he…

U.S. — Theologians have finally confirmed that when the trumpet blasts to signal the second coming of Christ, the trumpet will be playing the epic ballad "The Final Countdown". Babylon Bee

HEAVEN — The multitudes gathered in glory were hushed into an awkward silence today as a newly arrived Baptist man showed up in a suit even though everyone else in Heaven was wearing Hawaiian shirts and sandals.The man had hoped to enter…