Theology

OXFORD — A new peer-reviewed thesis has made a compelling argument that the Apostle Thomas only believed that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead after seeing Jesus's face miraculously appear on his slice of toast one morning."It's widely…

PEARLY GATES — All was not trumpets and harps at the Pearly Gates following a surprising revelation that has really ruffled some holy vestments. Saints in Heaven were shocked to learn Catholics have been trying to talk to them this whole…

ALPHARETTA, GA — In response to heavy criticism of his progressive theological views, North Point Community Church Pastor Andy Stanley has issued a public challenge to face the Bible in an MMA fight."It's time to settle this dispute once…

MILWAUKEE, WI — According to sources, local atheist Sam Thorp has been gloriously converted to Christianity only seconds after hearing Johnny Cash's hit song "The Man Comes Around" for the first time."Let's give this one a listen," said…

Southern Methodist University seems like a rarity in higher education. Students consider SMU to be politically balanced or more conservative, according to Niche, and the school has an “average” free speech climate, according to a…

MESOPOTAMIA — As heavy rains began pouring down upon the landscape, sending thousands of people scattering in terror, Noah's wife placed a series of stick figure decals on the back of the ark, according to sources."One for each of us!" she…

Unsuspecting evangelicals have long been led off-track in their pursuit of Jesus by none other than Jesus himself. Christianity Today is proud to have this opportunity to write a guest article here at The Babylon Bee and finally hold Jesus…

EDINBURGH — Historians at the revered University of Edinburgh have announced new findings that have led them to believe God chose Aaron to speak to Pharaoh because Moses talked like Robert F. Kennedy, Jr."This explains a lot," said Ian…

GALATIA — A local follower of the new religious sect known as "Christians" expressed frustration after a letter from the Apostle Paul arrived notifying the group of believers that circumcision is not a requirement to be a member of the…

HEAVEN — A terrifying new report has sent shockwaves throughout the Christian community, as rumors swirled that people who skim through the genealogies in their Bible reading will be barred from entering Heaven."This is devastating news,"…