theonion

Meghan: “I don’t think he is—”Harry: “Sorry, I think that was addressed to me?”Meghan: “No, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t. The interviewer was looking directly at me. So, yeah, you’re confused. You’re making yourself look foolish. Did you…

President Joe Biden announced Tuesday that he’ll run for reelection in 2024 despite consistently low approval ratings. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of the president running for reelection.God Fact: Did You Know?OffEnglishPROSets…

Tucker Carlson: Look, do I want to murder Donald Trump? Strangle him? Beat him? Stab him hundreds of times, fuck his corpse, and then stab him even more until he’s completely unrecognizable and I’m covered in his blood and viscera? Yes. But…

Start SlideshowAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideThe Onion: “According to a report from ProPublica—”The Onion: “According to a report from ProPublica—”Clarence Thomas: “I deny sexually harassing any superyacht. Any superyacht that claims…

Start SlideshowAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext Slide2 / 25The Onion: “Okay, fair warning: Donald Trump is kind of our friend, so watch what you say in this interview because we will tell him.”The Onion: “Okay, fair warning: Donald Trump is…

In 2012, at the age of 15, I was shot in the head by the Taliban for my vocal support of women’s education. They tried to silence me, but I fought back, becoming the youngest-ever U.N. Messenger of Peace and even winning a Nobel Peace…

Women form an embattled—yet vitally important—minority across the developed world, with recent census estimates suggesting there could be as many as 15,000 of them in the United States alone. Precisely because of the challenges women face,…

The task of reporting is not a simple one. Each and every day, reporters and editors at publications like The Onion make difficult decisions about which issues should receive attention, knowing that our coverage will influence not only how…

The Onion: Is it strange that the media is fixating on the lies you told about your background, which, while definitely unethical, are sort of beside the point considering that you’re joining a legislative body that routinely authorizes the…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to appeal to a broader audience of both Millennial and Gen Z voters, President Joe Biden reportedly impregnated a popular musician Thursday in order to boost his approval ratings. “Today, the 46th president of the…