tongue

LAWRENCE, KS—Unable to control herself while watching the R&B star perform during the Super Bowl LVIII halftime show, local mom Kathy Deacon got up from her couch and licked Usher’s abs on her TV screen, sources reported Sunday. “Oh…

PARIS—Backing away slowly in fear at the unanticipated response to their public demonstration, climate protesters reportedly grew visibly terrified Monday as the Mona Lisa extended a big, wet tongue and started licking up the soup. “Yum,…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to reach Americans affected by growing income inequality and the soaring cost of food, the U.S. Army launched a new ad campaign this week that touts the military as a great alternative to starving on the streets.…

TALLAHASSEE, FL—In an effort to connect with voters while on the 2024 campaign trail, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) ended a fundraiser Tuesday by approaching a World War II veteran and shaking his tongue. Several reports indicated that the…

SANTA BARBARA, CA—Divulging that the interactions with his brother often got physical, a passage leaked Monday from Spare, the explosive new memoir by Prince Harry, revealed that Prince William used far too much tongue whenever the brothers…

DURHAM, NC—Scooped up after a bidding war by a die-hard fan who intends to display it in his private residence, Michael Jordan’s game-used tongue sold for 1.38 million dollarsat auction Friday. “We’re talking about a piece of basketball…