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Everything Chicago Is Doing Ahead Of The DNC

Chicago is hosting the 2024 Democratic National Convention in August. The Onion examines everything the city is doing ahead of the DNC.What It Feels Like To Have ADHDOffEnglishMore Police: If this doesn’t work, the city will go with its…

Last Pickle Delighted To Finally Have Whole Jar To Self

MINNEAPOLIS—Kicking back as it floated alone in 24 ounces of vinegar-based brine, a solitary dill pickle announced Thursday it was delighted to finally have the whole jar to itself. “Yeah, that’s it—soak it in!” the kosher spear said as it…

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