Toronto

TORONTO – Local tax accountant Arthur Nowak has reported being unable to tell whether the city’s long-anticipated influx of Taylor Swift fans has begun, or if this is just regular Thursday morning traffic. “I’ve been sitting on the…

TORONTO – With Queen’s Park ordering the removal of the city’s bike lane infrastructure, an exasperated Toronto has offered to start calling Ontario Premier Doug Ford “Mayor”, thus satiating his lifelong yearning for the job, if he just…

TORONTO – Telecom giant Rogers announced that it would be ending the free Wifi available at Toronto Transit Commission stations at the end of the year after finding it had too many unintentional benefits to Canadians. “After a couple of…

Having managed to take down Ontario Place and The Science Centre, Doug Ford’s plans to destroy every cool thing in Toronto appear to be well under way. But the man who put the Buck into ‘this beer costs way more than a buck’ has been…

Toronto traffic is some of the worst in the world. And instead of focusing on getting people to use their cars less by investing in transit, bike lanes and pedestrianization, we need solutions that allow our behaviour to carry on exactly as…

Toronto, ON – In an effort to reduce fare evasion, the Toronto Transit Commission has introduced a new initiative: personal fare inspectors for every rider. Using a Tinder-style app, every TTC rider will get to choose the Personal Fare…

TORONTO – Amidst an increasingly tough real estate market for sellers fraught with increased listings and buyers sidelined by interest rates, the Canadian Real Estate Association has reported that a number of their members have increasingly…

TORONTO – The Ontario government has ordered a handful of high-altitude jet planes to try and stanch the rash of thieves making off with the helicopters that were purchased to staunch the rash of car thefts in the province. “We can assure…

Toronto, ON – A millennial Toronto couple who recently moved into a trendy new tiny home is enjoying their first tiny fight about a tiny affair. “My wife discovered a tiny photo on my phone,” explained Josh Geary. “I had left my tiny phone…

TORONTO – After standing for 54 years as a testament to midcentury architecture and a source of memories for generations of young people, the Ontario Science Centre was announced to be closing today, the result of strain on its roof as it…