Toronto

TORONTO – Rally participants in an anti-lockdown protest in Toronto on Saturday reported they had become ill with some kind of strange, flu-like virus. “I thought at first I couldn’t breathe because I shouted ‘I want to play badminton’ too…

TORONTO – Local roommates Deborah Maine, Josh Goodman, and Keith Smith have decided to get around to killing their fourth roommate Trevor Lewin after learning they are all stuck with him for another lockdown. “We have really been putting it…

TORONTO – As a means to deter young loiterers, TTC officials have begun playing a classical music compilation over the Dundas subway station intercom, which in turn has attracted groups of elderlies. “This was supposed to be a genius…

TORONTO, ONT – Local resident, Tom Anderson, who didn’t follow any lockdown rules, is about to get vaccinated before you. Awesome! “This pandemic has been very hard,” began Anderson, who just last week had friends over to watch the season…

TORONTO – Netflix is adding a new category of films viewers can scroll through before just choosing to re-watch The Crown: movies set in New York that are obviously Toronto. “We’re all about finding links between movies and tv shows that…

TORONTO – With a video of packed crowds at Toronto’s Yorkdale Mall going viral, just 3 days after Doug Ford announced a province-wide shutdown, today the Premier clarified that the high-end mall remains open specifically for emergency…

Springfield, MA — It was all hands on deck at dictionary-maker Merriam Webster’s head office as employees worked to create a new definition of “shutdown” following Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s announcement this afternoon. “Because of the…

TORONTO – The Toronto housing market is on fire right now, but these two millennials still managed to afford a home in the city with a few easy tricks! “We were both able to monetize how we spend our time,” explained one member of the…

TORONTO – Torontonian and lesser media personality Jon Stills sparked a lively online conversation last Thursday after a Twitter thread continued the longstanding and beloved Toronto pastime of threatening to leave Toronto. “Toronto just…

TORONTO – Mayor John Tory has announced that West Toronto is on track to meet its 2025 goal of 1 cannabis dispensary per household. Following legalization in 2018 Ontario found itself last to the party with store-front dispensaries, leaving…