traditions

During a fundraiser celebrating the beginning of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, President Biden referred to Japan, China, and Russia as “xenophobic.” “You know, one of the reasons why our economy is growing is … because…

NEW BRAUNFELS, TX—Noting a significant increase in engagement and participation, psychologists confirmed Monday that local father Chris O’Neill was most present while encouraging his children to knock it off. “It was remarkable—instead of…

RIO RANCHO, NM—Scattering excrement here and there on the floor to bring a little Christmas magic to their home, local parents Doug and Sarah Lynch got up early Sunday to place Santa droppings around their living room so they could convince…

As Wednesday marks the 60th anniversary of the tragic assassination of John F. Kennedy, historians and pundits will no doubt be evaluating his legacy. While the political successes and failures of his administration can be debated, much of…

WASHINGTON—As he hacked and coughed in front of a horrified group of family members and top administration officials, sources confirmed Monday that President Joe Biden’s lungs flew out of his mouth when he attempted to blow out his birthday…

Today is 4/20, the unofficial marijuana holiday when pot lovers around the world attend rallies, public smoke sessions, festivals, and other marijuana-related events as well as just smoke with friends. How are you celebrating?“Oh, I’m more…

AUSTIN, TX—In an attempt to keep the occasion low-key, local woman Amanda Suleman told reporters Friday that she was hoping for a quiet Mother’s Day and did not want any kids this year. “I realize it’s tradition to have children for…