traffic

TORONTO – Local tax accountant Arthur Nowak has reported being unable to tell whether the city’s long-anticipated influx of Taylor Swift fans has begun, or if this is just regular Thursday morning traffic. “I’ve been sitting on the…

Toronto traffic is some of the worst in the world. And instead of focusing on getting people to use their cars less by investing in transit, bike lanes and pedestrianization, we need solutions that allow our behaviour to carry on exactly as…

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SPRINGFIELD, IL—In an effort to accommodate drivers with declining cognitive function, the Illinois Department of Transportation began issuing dementia placards Thursday that would allow holders to drive on the wrong side of the highway.…

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About a mile from where I sit typing this ensconced in my comfortable suburban existence is a strip mall. This place serves a number of my family’s basic needs, and I find myself going there quite a bit — there’s a grocery store, a couple…

CALGARY – Traffic reports from the Morley household indicate that a massive three dog pileup is delaying multiple household commutes. “There’s fur everywhere, and you can still hear barking,” one reporter said. “Frankly, it’s going to take…

TORONTO – Several multi-car pile-ups and other severe crashes are being reported at nearly every major intersection in Toronto, after the city set all the traffic lights to remain green in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. “I saw the light…