transit

TORONTO – Reports from this morning rush hour suggest that people who drive everywhere continue to wonder why Toronto traffic is so bad. “I don’t understand it,” said Lloyd Travers. “Every day I drive from my home near Lawrence subway…

TORONTO – With Queen’s Park ordering the removal of the city’s bike lane infrastructure, an exasperated Toronto has offered to start calling Ontario Premier Doug Ford “Mayor”, thus satiating his lifelong yearning for the job, if he just…

Toronto traffic is some of the worst in the world. And instead of focusing on getting people to use their cars less by investing in transit, bike lanes and pedestrianization, we need solutions that allow our behaviour to carry on exactly as…

Toronto, ON – In an effort to reduce fare evasion, the Toronto Transit Commission has introduced a new initiative: personal fare inspectors for every rider. Using a Tinder-style app, every TTC rider will get to choose the Personal Fare…

OTTAWA – Local woman Marlene Kovach has decided to wait to return all her calls until she can do so in the middle of a bus full of other people. “Sure I could call my mom when I get home,” said Kovach. “But it’s way more time efficient to…

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VANCOUVER, BC – On her commute to work, 30-year-old mother and elementary school teacher, Mya Diaz, sat in a wet seat on her B-Line bus, but reassured herself that the mysterious fluid was likely only human urine. “No biggie,” said Diaz as…

TORONTO – The TTC have launched a nostalgic campaign in Toronto to celebrate their centennial year by featuring 100 years worth of TTC delays. “Having carried more than 31 billion customers, the TTC has grown to become one of the most…

MONTREAL – In a press release published today CN Rail announced plans to warp sections of train tracks into speed bumps to maintain Canada’s status as a leader in slow-speed rail transit. “Soon, Canadians will no longer have to endure fast…