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NEW YORK—In an indicator suggesting the gig economy was still thriving, a study released Monday by the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis found that more Americans were taking on third jobs to help keep the nation’s CEOs afloat. “Despite the…

HOUSTON—After the measure was fast-tracked through the city council, a new zoning law went into effect this week that requires all developers in Houston to put in 10 additional parking spaces for every parking space. “We’re dedicated to…

KANSAS CITY, MO—Overcome by anxiety after his frantic search turned up nothing, ESPN analyst Mel Kiper Jr. reportedly panicked Thursday after realizing he left his NFL Draft big board in an Uber. “Shit, shit, shit, I knew I shouldn’t have…

SAN FRANCISCO—In a highly anticipated rollout of what has long been the feature most requested by the platform’s users, ridesharing company Uber released an update Thursday that allows riders to pretend to fall asleep so their driver will…

NEW YORK—Promoting the car manufacturer as the only way out of this hellhole, Sunday night’s top Super Bowl ad featured Paul Rudd urging Americans to get a Chevrolet pickup and drive it far away from their grim and dying nation. “Hop in the…

SACRAMENTO, CA—Pulling over a motorist suspected of intoxication, a police officer conducting a field sobriety test Monday reportedly asked the driver whether or not calling his ex sounded like a good idea. “Excuse me, sir, do you think you…

GENEVA—Calling it the surest path to avoiding catastrophic consequences for the planet, a new report by the IntergovernmentalInternational Panel on Climate Change warned Monday that the only way to reverse climate change was for every…

The spread of the Delta coronavirus variant is prompting renewed concerns about the dangers of Covid. The Onion answers the most important questions about the Delta Covid variant..AdvertisementQ: What is the Delta variant?A: The reason life…

AUSTIN, TX—Flashing their sirens and directing the swerving, damaged Model 3 to pull over on the side of the road, police asked a white, 2019 Tesla to drive in a straight line and recite the alphabet backwards Tuesday after the vehicle…

DEARBORN, MI—Saying the time was now to take decisive action on climate change, Ford CEO Jim Farley launched the company’s electric vehicle push Monday by having his buddy stand watch while he stole a battery from a parked Toyota Prius.…