Trudeau

Listen up, Canadian patriots: the day you’ve been waiting for has finally come. That’s right, Justin Trudeau, the guy you’ve been threatening to fuck for the last several years like the common sense Canadians you are, has finally announced…

OTTAWA – With Justin Trudeau facing perhaps his greatest political challenge, the ghost of his late father, former Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau, appeared before him to ask the pressing question of whether former girlfriend Kim…

OTTAWA – Canadian Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland has triumphantly announced her resignation after proclaiming victory over all aspects of Canada’s formerly troubled economy. “I’m a firm believe that when a job is done, you don’t stick…

OTTAWA — After disgraced professor and beef enthusiast Jordan Peterson announced yesterday that he had moved to Florida due to the Canadian government’s allegedly woke fascist policies, Justin Trudeau immediately issued a statement saying…

Hello. It’s me, Canada’s most popular Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau. Here to tell you all the good news – that I feel your pain. I don’t mean feel your pain in a literal sense. I’m still the son of a Canadian political dynasty and just…

OTTAWA – Yesterday Justin Trudeau made a bold commitment, announcing billions of dollars in funding for a massive government program to make Canadians lives better in some way, which Pierre Poilievre will absolutely cancel when he is…

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced he will step down from the Liberal Party leadership – as soon as a newer, worthier Trudeau comes forward to take his place. Trudeau, who has held the party leadership since 2013, made the…

OTTAWA – Canada’s Liberal government has lowered immigration targets in the hopes Justin Trudeau sees less competition in the private sector job market when he starts sending around resumes sometime in the next few months. The Federal…

OTTAWA – With polls projecting the Liberals to win as few as 53 seats in the next federal election, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has pledged to shake up his party’s campaign strategy following roughly a half dozen more losses. “I’m pretty…

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has reportedly left his fifth as of yet unanswered voicemail offering to “throw his weight” behind the presidential campaign of US Democratic candidate Kamala Harris. “Hey, Kamala, this is Justin,…