Trudeau

OTTAWA – Local man David Vogel is telling anyone who will listen that he is done with COVID and it’s associated restrictions, even as he does about as much as humanly possible to keep the virus going. “It’s over. It’s been two years and…

OTTAWA – As a convoy of truckers heads toward Ottawa to protest vaccine mandates in their industry, with some of them calling for the dissolution of the government itself, Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole has expressed he plans to meet with…

OTTAWA – After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced a diplomatic boycott for the upcoming Beijing Olympics, Canada’s diplomats are expressing outrage that they spent so long training for games they will not be allowed to attend. “Every…

OTTAWA — As the final results were tallied Monday night, the “new” Liberal minority government was proud to announce the culmination of thousands of hours of manpower and weeks-long campaigning: a fun focus-building activity for kids of all…

OTTAWA – As the Liberal and Conservative parties poll in a dead heat to form Canada’s next government, an aggregate of polls show that absolutely not one single voter can explain why this election was necessary. According to polling numbers…

Ottawa, ON – After strong polling numbers showing the Conservative party’s newfound popularity, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has changed tactics by reminding Canadians he can be just as racist as Erin O’Toole. “I see that you all…

LONDON, ON – During an election campaign stop Prime Minister Justin Trudeau faced anti-vaccine protestors who hurled rocks, namely because they lack the intelligence and evolutionary capabilities necessary to use Bronze Age tools. “The…

EDMONTON – In an effort to combat climate change, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has forced the Edmonton NHL team to change its name from the Oilers to the Wind Turbines. “This is the central pillar of my climate change platform,” announced…

OTTAWA – Recently, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau asked for a dissolution of parliament. With many condemning him due to its unencessity, Trudeau took to his Twitter, instead, to run a poll that asked “Do you like me?” With options “Yes…

OTTAWA – Despite being just 2 years into a 4 year contract, local civil servant Justin Trudeau abruptly resigned on Sunday, and then simultaneously demanded a brand new 4 year contract. “It was odd. At first he was like, ‘this is untenable,…