Trump Boys

PALM BEACH, FL—Boasting that they were about to become “gajillionaires” thanks to their technological innovation, the Trump boys reportedly hooked a dollar bill up to a potato Tuesday in an attempt to make cryptocurrency. “Uncle Elon…

WASHINGTON—Slumping back in their chairs and whining at the sight of intravenous lines in their bruised arms, a pale Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly asked their Uncle Elon on Friday when they could stop giving him blood. “We’re…

WASHINGTON—Flailing their arms and crying out in anguish, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were reportedly panicking Thursday after getting their tongues stuck to a frozen column near the West Wing of the White House. “Oh my God, it’s…

WASHINGTON—Whining that they were being discriminated against even though they were the “bestest sons ever in the whole wide world,” the Trump Boys attempted Thursday to convince their father that Barron was getting unfair advantages…

President Donald Trump pardoned approximately 1,500 rioters who participated in the Jan. 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Here is everything you need to know about the pardons and commutations: Q: Who is celebrating the pardons? A:…

Trump Boys Take Turns Shouting ‘Penis’ At Inauguration - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: January 20, 2025 More News in Photos Explore…

PALM BEACH, FL—Blushing, short of breath, and unable to look away from the image, the Trump boys told reporters Thursday that they got a weird feeling after their Uncle Elon showed them a picture of a busty anime cat girl. “Uncle Elon…

PALM BEACH, FL—Lashing furiously at each other’s faces with their flailing hands, the Trump boys were reportedly engaged in a slap fight Friday over who would get to run their dad’s foreign policy meetings. “No, you got to do it last time,…

PALM BEACH, FL—Clutching their stomachs and wincing with pain after gorging themselves on tens of thousands of votes, the morbidly obese Trump boys told reporters Monday that they now regretted eating so many ballots. “Oh, my tummy hurts…