tubers

DES MOINES, IA—With onlookers panicking and officials struggling to contain the violence, Iowa State Fair visitor Lee Brandberg was reportedly gored Friday by a 500-pound yam. “Yep, the young man was leaning so close over the enclosure that…

DANVILLE, KY—Determined to complete the task though her progress was slowed by the root vegetable continually slipping from her arthritic grasp, local grandmother Dolores Wheeler reportedly spent all of Wednesday peeling a single potato.…

SEYMOUR, IN—Expressing astonishment over her husband’s about-face regarding the root vegetable, local mother Connie Keeley reportedly told her children Monday that she was proud of their father, Paul, 56, for trying a sweet potato. “You…