U.S.

BOSTON, MA – The Canadian men’s hockey team has successfully seized the 4 Nations hockey championship from their American opponents, completing their annexation of the trophy nearly halfway through the first overtime period. “We…

Now that Kash Patel has been officially confirmed as the new director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, he's rolling out a new list of top priorities for the agency to focus on moving forward.Through intricate back channels, The…

Ever since polls were released showing Canadians overwhelmingly reject Donald Trump’s proposal to become the 51st state by 77-15%, the question everyone has been asking is: who the fuck are these 15% and what is wrong with them. Well look…

NEW YORK, NY — In a desperate attempt to blend in, son of the president, Barron Trump, has reportedly resorted to putting his knees in his shoes and walking around campus like a normal-height person.Eyewitnesses said the NYU freshman…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — America's resurgence reached a new level this morning, as President Donald Trump announced a plan to attack the British and Prussian forces at Waterloo, effective immediately.The announcement of the new offensive came on…

WASHINGTON D.C. – Asked about his earlier comments regarding Canada becoming the 51st state, President Donald Trump clarified that Canada needs America to offer it protection from hostile aggressor nations like America. Following the Trump…

OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre, who has famously spent his 21-year political career vociferously attacking any person or political entity which opposed him, has vowed to “any day now” begin training that same rhetorical fire on the American…

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was only officially confirmed and sworn in as the new Secretary of Health and Human Services yesterday, but he's already making his presence felt in a major way. Sweeping changes are coming to the way the federal…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an emergency ruling, the United States Supreme Court authorized the use of the death penalty for anyone who buys Valentine's Day cards or gifts for their "work wife."The landmark decision reversed an earlier ruling…

WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump has approved a measure normalizing once again the practice of calling female employees ‘Toots'."All this political correctness made our work environments no fun, but that ends today," Trump said at a press…