U.S.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite 160 years of overwhelming evidence that pointed to foul play in the first assassination of an American president, the leaders of the Federal Bureau of Investigation revealed that they had now determined that…

DOVER, DE — In a horrifying display of what could be growing Christian Nationalism, a group of far-right Christian extremists gathered earlier today to pray for former President Joseph Biden. According to eyewitnesses, the dangerous…

NEW YORK, NY — In a concerning new report, experts said that America is still just as unprepared today for a giant monkey climbing skyscrapers as we were back in 1933.According to detailed disaster preparedness data, America has done…

U.S. — Former FBI Director James Comey found himself in hot water this week for posting what he claimed was a natural rock formation that appeared to spell out "EXPLODE TRUMP'S HEAD WITH A BOOMERANG."The photo, posted on Comey's Instagram…

ATLANTA, GA — Amid controversy stemming from a provocative social media post, popular fast-food chain Arby's issued a formal apology for offending their main customer base of sad, pathetic losers.The roast beef sandwich vendor expressed…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As debate raged over the Trump administration granting refugee status to a group of South African farmers fleeing threats to their lives in their home nation, congressional Democrats proposed building a wall to keep…

U.S. — Democrat onlookers were baffled at the unusual sight of a group of immigrants arriving in the United States legally while waving patriotic American flags. A group of 59 Afrikaners escaped persecution in South Africa and arrived in…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House held a star-studded ceremony today to commemorate a historic occasion, as President Donald Trump accepted a generous gift of an Imperial-Class Star Destroyer from Emperor Palpatine.Despite reservations…

SAN FRANCISCO — Nicolas Cage has successfully infiltrated Alcatraz after being tapped by President Trump to reoccupy the famous island prison.Present Trump announced plans to rebuild and reopen Alcatraz as a federal prison Sunday after…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — As part of his ongoing crusade to change the name of each body of water in the world, President Donald Trump announced on Wednesday that the San Francisco Bay would now be known as the "Gulf of Criminals."The move to…