U.S.

SPRINGFIELD, OH — In an unfortunate development discovered last night, all of the animals from the live nativity scene in Springfield, Ohio have suddenly gone missing.Goats, sheep, two donkeys and a camel are among the missing, last seen on…

U.S. — Recent drone sightings across the eastern United States are apparently nothing more than an elaborate gender reveal, Pentagon officials announced Monday. The revelation came as the lights in the sky thought to be Iranian spy drones…

NEW YORK CITY – Times Magazine has announced that Donald Trump has been named in their latest issue as their Person of the year, stretching the definition of “person” to its absolute limit. “He was born of man, consumes organic resources to…

TEXAS — The recent issue of unidentified drones hovering over American skies was solved suddenly today after the drones attempted to fly over Texas.Within seconds of the drones entering the Lone Star State, the sound of heavy gunfire split…

ALTOONA, PA — The McDonald's employee credited with identifying Luigi Mangione, a suspect in the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, was honored on Friday with a small ceremony in which he was presented with a coupon good for one…

NEWARK, NJ — A pressing mystery that had puzzled government officials and the general public alike was solved today, as the mysterious drones seen buzzing through New Jersey skies were revealed to be Iranian after closer inspection.Despite…

NEW YORK CITY — Judge Maxwell Wiley has ordered the jury in Daniel Penny's trial to go back and keep on deliberating until they come back with a different verdict.After four days of deliberation, the jury announced that Penny could not be…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The government's judicial branch continued to methodically work through remaining cases before the upcoming holiday break, with the United States Supreme Court ruling 8-1 in favor of taking turns bonking Justice Sonia…

SAN JUAN, PR – In the wake of Donald Trump unveiling plans to make Canada the 51st U.S. state, Puerto Ricans who have been trying to attain proper electoral representation expressed their frustration with Canada jumping the line and…

MAR-A-LAGO, FL – U.S. President-Elect Donald Trump has unveiled a key component of his plan to make other member nations of NATO invest more in defense; turning America into a viable international target so they have no choice but to come…