U.S.

With less than two weeks remaining before his triumphant return to the Oval Office, Trump is already making big moves, including declaring that the Gulf of Mexico will be renamed the Gulf of America. What other new names does he have up his…

PALM BEACH, FL — It was a joyous day at Mar-a-Lago today, as the entire staff of the famed resort property exploded into celebration and party preparation when an overjoyed President-elect Donald Trump ran out to greet his prodigal son,…

U.S. — Allstate CEO Thomas Wilson explained to viewers across the nation that if Americans would act nicer, Islamic terrorists wouldn't be forced to murder them.Wilson accosted Americans for being too negative and divided, leaving Islamists…

U.S. — In an effort to address recent violence, the United States Army has decided to begin asking applicants if they plan to carry out a massive terrorist attack."We really need to start asking if they intend to convert to Islam and go on…

FAYETTEVILLE, NC — In a move intended to give the historic military base a moniker more in line with its recent contributions to the country, the Pentagon announced today that it would be renaming the former Fort Bragg as Fort Death to…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson has announced her intention for 2025 to finally read the United States Constitution using a "Read The Constitution In A Year" plan.The plan will require Justice Jackson to read…

The American conservative movement, usually known for being well-organized and having zero infighting, has somehow descended into civil war over something called H-1B visas. Here is what you need to know about the controversy ripping…

SACRAMENTO, CA — In an effort to crack down on the invasive influence of American culture, the state of California announced that come January, it will commence mass deportation of U.S. citizens.Governor Gavin Newsom issued an order today…

SPRINGFIELD, OH — In an unfortunate development discovered last night, all of the animals from the live nativity scene in Springfield, Ohio have suddenly gone missing.Goats, sheep, two donkeys and a camel are among the missing, last seen on…

U.S. — Recent drone sightings across the eastern United States are apparently nothing more than an elaborate gender reveal, Pentagon officials announced Monday. The revelation came as the lights in the sky thought to be Iranian spy drones…