U.S.

U.S. — Millions of homosexuals have reportedly starved to death after Colorado's Supreme Court affirmed the right of Jack Phillips to refuse to bake gay wedding cakes.No homosexuals could be reached for comment because they are all…

TAMPA, FL — FEMA announced this week they don't have enough resources to block any outside humanitarian aid coming into Florida and surrounding states ahead of Hurricane Milton."It's a shame, really," FEMA Administrator Deanne Criswell told…

U.S. — As weather reports came in about Hurricane Milton taking the shape of the Star of David just before making landfall with the eastern coast of Florida, Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was heard telling anyone who would…

ASHEVILLE, NC — FEMA arrested Noah this week after they caught the prophet attempting to help rescue people afflicted by the floods."This is an unapproved rescue operation and we will not tolerate such behavior," FEMA Spokesman Randy…

U.S. — Noted ship enthusiast and young-earth creationist Ken Ham was reportedly seen traveling across the southeast United States in a life-sized replica of Noah's ark in a heroic attempt to rescue victims of Hurricane Helene.The ark, which…

RALEIGH, NC — With civilians working hard to rescue their neighbors along the path of devastation left behind by Hurricane Helene and FEMA revealing a lack of available money, the state of North Carolina asked Ukrainian President Volodymyr…

RALEIGH, NC — As disaster response efforts ramped up following the devastation of Hurricane Helene, North Carolina announced it had agreed to purchase several Hunter Biden paintings in return for U.S. aid.While President Biden had already…

U.S. — According to media representatives, journalists are being stonewalled by the Kamala Harris campaign as they seek a simple comment on Hurricane Helene. Campaign officials have repeatedly declined to say whether or not Kamala Harris…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite fighting an ongoing war with Russia, acting U.S. President Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy appeared to be in high spirits as he dropped by the White House to pick up his most recent paycheck.Though it required…

U.S. — Multiple networks sounded the alarm Thursday that the impending landfall of Hurricane Helene would seriously hamper further attempts to assassinate Donald Trump.With only a little more than a month left before election day, any…