U.S.

WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump has approved a measure normalizing once again the practice of calling female employees ‘Toots'."All this political correctness made our work environments no fun, but that ends today," Trump said at a press…

OTTAWA – With US President Trump instituting 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports, Canada has elected to use their excess metals in the most sensible way possible – by constructing a 21-storey-tall robotic weapon shaped after…

U.S. — Amid ongoing controversy over the Department of Government Efficiency's investigations into numerous federal agencies to uncover fraud and waste, a new study found that people trying to stop financial audits usually have great…

COLUMBUS, OH — A local couple was delighted to find that their house had nearly doubled in value after getting egged by a band of teenage hooligans last Saturday. According to Jenn and Jake Cooper, their $529,000, 2,700 square foot family…

WASHINGTON D.C. – After an estimated 113 million Americans tuned in to watch Super Bowl LIX, the nation arose Monday morning to discover that Canadian forces had used the opportunity to once again burn down their White House. As nearly a…

NEW ORLEANS, LA – The NFL has announced that the prominent end zone messages of “No More Racism” will be updated for Super Bowl LIX between the Kansas City Chiefs and Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday by simply removing the word ‘No’. NFL…

BURGER KING CASTLE — The Burger King issued an edict from his throne this week and urged senators to vote against confirming Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health and Human Services."Countrymen! Hear me, hear me!" the Burger King…

The Trump administration's Department of Government Efficiency has been on the warpath against federal waste and turning over every seedy rock to shed light on inefficiencies in our nation's agencies and institutions. Government computer…

OTTAWA – Following a tumultuous weekend in which Donald Trump threatened Canada with steep tariffs on all goods, only to back down, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre angrily criticized the US president for bringing Canadians together…

WINDSOR, ON – Derryl Virkin, the sole Canadian who has been smuggling negligible amounts of fentanyl across the US border, has reported feeling “really flattered and kinda giddy but also kinda weird, eh?” in the wake of Trudeau’s recent…