U.S.

OTTAWA – Following the re-election of US President Donald J. Trump, Canadian PM Justin Trudeau immediately suggested that now might be a great time to step down as Liberal party leader and let someone else have a crack at it. “While I have…

WASHINGTON D.C. – After almost 250 years of data-gathering, the American experiment has ended in a catastrophic laboratory explosion. “I don’t understand what went wrong!” sighed the facility’s chief scientist. “I added a flawed…

LANCASTER COUNTY, PA — Tragedy struck a local voting precinct today, as an Amish man reportedly fell through a trap door directly to Hell after using an electronic voting machine.Witnesses said that the man, 44-year-old Jedidiah Miller, was…

RALEIGH – Hundreds of millions of onlookers worldwide have turned their eyes to North Carolina, where international journalists have been embedded for weeks to report on every twist and turn of the state’s agriculture commissioner election.…

OTTAWA – With Americans voting today to determine the next President of the United States, every single Canadian has announced plans to keep their lights shut off in hopes that they will not get drawn into any mess that inevitably ensues.…

U.S. — After government authorities seized and executed the beloved squirrel known as "Peanut", squirrels across America donned tiny MAGA hats and launched a mass uprising."For Peanut!!" shouted the squirrels as their forces stormed…

LOS ANGELES, CA — After being in business for 143 years, The Los Angeles Times is shutting its doors because its entire staff resigned in protest after being asked to publish factual information. Provoked by a new editor-in-chief who…

NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — A large Venezuelan gang was completely wiped out this week after trying to take over a local Buc-ee's location.According to eyewitnesses, the gang, which was formerly based in Denver, had grown too confident after…

RESTON, VA — A local law enforcement officer found himself on the receiving end of fierce public backlash and allegations of racism for stubbornly refusing to allow a black woman to murder him with a knife.Officer Peter Liu responded to a…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Alejandro Mayorkas recently fell under suspicion of using Jedi mind tricks after the Secretary of Homeland Security started desperately waving his hands around while claiming that the Biden-Harris administration has not…