U.S.

HEAVEN — According to sources in the celestial realm, God is scratching His head in wonderment that Democrats somehow managed to mess up California."You guys were literally given everything! How do you even do that?" said a spokesangel for…

NEW YORK, NY — Following testimony from disbarred attorney Michael Cohen that legal experts said was damaging to their case against former President Donald Trump, prosecutors filed a motion in court today for a "do-over."Citing an obscure…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With women on the House Oversight Committee raising a ruckus and bringing a halt to legislative business, congressmen announced they had built a special soundproof Girl Congress next door for the womenfolk to go so the…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Bay Area residents were doing double-takes today, as Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi began dressing as a hobo after learning San Francisco was giving free vodka shots to the homeless.The former Speaker of the House hatched…

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NEW YORK, NY — As the Donald Trump criminal trial continued to make headlines for both its political implications and the artistic renderings of the people involved, adult film star Stormy Daniels offered hush money to the courtroom sketch…

NEW YORK — Donald Trump dealt a decisive blow to the prosecution this week in his ongoing hush money trial after expertly playing a Reverse card from the witness stand."Reverse!" Trump yelled excitedly. "Perfectly timed, as always. With a…

NEW YORK, NY — In a heartwarming outreach to African Americans, New York Governor Kathy Hochul visited a Bronx elementary school to bring the miracle of white man's fire to the Black community."Me teach you white man secret of fire!" Gov…

IRVING, TX — In a step toward greater inclusion, The Boy Scouts Of America announced this week that it will be just going by "Of" from here on out."We realized our name had a lot of problematic terms, like ‘Boy,' ‘Scouts,' and ‘America' in…