U.S.

Ladies of the United States, this is a friendly reminder to please check your mailbox as your mandatory Handmaid's Tale outfit should be arriving today.As you may know, women must wear the outfit every day starting the moment Trump is sworn…

BURBANK, CA — Liberal woman Marcie Galveston was forced to film herself having a second post-election meltdown this week after she realized she forgot to hit the record button on her phone the first time around."WHY??? WHY?????" screeched…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, Elon Musk is preparing for his first day at the White House by hauling three wells to the door so he can knock and then say "Well, well, well.""He, he, get it?" said Musk with a knowing smile. "Well,…

U.S. — In the wake of her devastating loss to Donald Trump in the 2024 presidential election, Vice President Kamala Harris urged the people dancing and celebrating in the streets to not to be too depressed about the future.While Americans…

OTTAWA – Following the re-election of US President Donald J. Trump, Canadian PM Justin Trudeau immediately suggested that now might be a great time to step down as Liberal party leader and let someone else have a crack at it. “While I have…

WASHINGTON D.C. – After almost 250 years of data-gathering, the American experiment has ended in a catastrophic laboratory explosion. “I don’t understand what went wrong!” sighed the facility’s chief scientist. “I added a flawed…

LANCASTER COUNTY, PA — Tragedy struck a local voting precinct today, as an Amish man reportedly fell through a trap door directly to Hell after using an electronic voting machine.Witnesses said that the man, 44-year-old Jedidiah Miller, was…

RALEIGH – Hundreds of millions of onlookers worldwide have turned their eyes to North Carolina, where international journalists have been embedded for weeks to report on every twist and turn of the state’s agriculture commissioner election.…

OTTAWA – With Americans voting today to determine the next President of the United States, every single Canadian has announced plans to keep their lights shut off in hopes that they will not get drawn into any mess that inevitably ensues.…

U.S. — After government authorities seized and executed the beloved squirrel known as "Peanut", squirrels across America donned tiny MAGA hats and launched a mass uprising."For Peanut!!" shouted the squirrels as their forces stormed…