U.S.

With reports rolling in of widespread panic among the illegal immigrant population of the United States, foreign-born people across the country are looking for ways to avoid being apprehended and deported.The Babylon Bee is here to provide…

WINDSOR, ON – With president Donald Trump threatening to impose blanket 25% tariffs on all goods crossing into the United States, Canadian citizens are hurrying to stockpile illegal American handguns before prices skyrocket. “I’m stocking…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The nation breathed a sigh of collective relief today as Trump announced that any immigrant working a taco truck would be spared from deportation.Regardless of immigration status, any migrant found to be actively engaged…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Newly minted Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth celebrated his confirmation by performing an absolutely sick keg stand.After a contentious confirmation process replete with accusations of drinking on the job, Hegseth…

CASPER, WY — Amid the uproar over people accusing Elon Musk of giving a Nazi sign following Donald Trump's inauguration, journalists were able to track down the one person who has never once done a Hitler salute in his life.Norm Armstrong…

EL PASO, TX — As part of a genius plot to avoid President Trump's deportation efforts, a local immigrant has avoided murdering, stealing, or entering the country illegally.Sources reported Trump was outraged to learn about the immigrant…

LOS ANGELES, CA — After briefly listening to former Vice President Kamala Harris speak, survivors of the Los Angeles fires hopped back in their cars and drove directly into the flames.Harris flew directly to California after leaving office…

SAN DIEGO, CA — As President Trump issued an order requiring all government employees to return to work in person, one rescue swimmer for the United States Coast Guard expressed disappointment that he could no longer work from home.Greg…

METROPOLIS — The hero once thought of by many as the defender of truth, justice, and the American way found himself in a public relations nightmare this week, as Superman came under fire after hundreds of images surfaced of him allegedly…

WASHINGTON D. C. – Attention seeking billionaire and human husk, Elon Musk, known for co-opting other people’s ideas and profiting from them, came out at President Trump’s inauguration to debut a new salute he’s calling “The Sieg Heil 2.0.”…