U.S.

LOS ANGELES, CA — After being in business for 143 years, The Los Angeles Times is shutting its doors because its entire staff resigned in protest after being asked to publish factual information. Provoked by a new editor-in-chief who…

NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — A large Venezuelan gang was completely wiped out this week after trying to take over a local Buc-ee's location.According to eyewitnesses, the gang, which was formerly based in Denver, had grown too confident after…

RESTON, VA — A local law enforcement officer found himself on the receiving end of fierce public backlash and allegations of racism for stubbornly refusing to allow a black woman to murder him with a knife.Officer Peter Liu responded to a…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Alejandro Mayorkas recently fell under suspicion of using Jedi mind tricks after the Secretary of Homeland Security started desperately waving his hands around while claiming that the Biden-Harris administration has not…

NEW YORK, NY — In a landmark change to what had always been viewed as an iconic inscription, the word "terrorists" was added to the list of people groups in Emma Lazarus's poem on the Statue of Liberty plaque.While the original version of…

TALLAHASSEE, FL — In an incredibly petty jerk move, Ron DeSantis reportedly prevented Kamala Harris from helping out with hurricane relief by not telling her where Florida is, even though she was really willing to aid victims of Hurricanes…

TAMPA, FL — As yet another tragic side-effect of the impending destruction expected to be caused by Hurricane Milton when it makes landfall, experts predicted the wave of Waffle House closures would force crackheads to go fight out in the…

U.S. — Millions of homosexuals have reportedly starved to death after Colorado's Supreme Court affirmed the right of Jack Phillips to refuse to bake gay wedding cakes.No homosexuals could be reached for comment because they are all…

TAMPA, FL — FEMA announced this week they don't have enough resources to block any outside humanitarian aid coming into Florida and surrounding states ahead of Hurricane Milton."It's a shame, really," FEMA Administrator Deanne Criswell told…

U.S. — As weather reports came in about Hurricane Milton taking the shape of the Star of David just before making landfall with the eastern coast of Florida, Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was heard telling anyone who would…