U.S.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — America's resurgence reached a new level this morning, as President Donald Trump announced a plan to attack the British and Prussian forces at Waterloo, effective immediately.The announcement of the new offensive came on…

WASHINGTON D.C. – Asked about his earlier comments regarding Canada becoming the 51st state, President Donald Trump clarified that Canada needs America to offer it protection from hostile aggressor nations like America. Following the Trump…

OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre, who has famously spent his 21-year political career vociferously attacking any person or political entity which opposed him, has vowed to “any day now” begin training that same rhetorical fire on the American…

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was only officially confirmed and sworn in as the new Secretary of Health and Human Services yesterday, but he's already making his presence felt in a major way. Sweeping changes are coming to the way the federal…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an emergency ruling, the United States Supreme Court authorized the use of the death penalty for anyone who buys Valentine's Day cards or gifts for their "work wife."The landmark decision reversed an earlier ruling…

WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump has approved a measure normalizing once again the practice of calling female employees ‘Toots'."All this political correctness made our work environments no fun, but that ends today," Trump said at a press…

OTTAWA – With US President Trump instituting 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports, Canada has elected to use their excess metals in the most sensible way possible – by constructing a 21-storey-tall robotic weapon shaped after…

U.S. — Amid ongoing controversy over the Department of Government Efficiency's investigations into numerous federal agencies to uncover fraud and waste, a new study found that people trying to stop financial audits usually have great…

COLUMBUS, OH — A local couple was delighted to find that their house had nearly doubled in value after getting egged by a band of teenage hooligans last Saturday. According to Jenn and Jake Cooper, their $529,000, 2,700 square foot family…

WASHINGTON D.C. – After an estimated 113 million Americans tuned in to watch Super Bowl LIX, the nation arose Monday morning to discover that Canadian forces had used the opportunity to once again burn down their White House. As nearly a…