Uber Eats

Look, we’ve all been there. Singles Awareness Day – er, Valentine’s Day – once again rolls around, and all your lonely ass can do to celebrate is order an ungodly amount of food and watch Netflix. But unlike every other day of the year,…

TORONTO – Rogers Family board member John Tory has been allowed to continue his night job as mayor of the city of Toronto. “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to serve the people of Toronto,” said Tory at a press conference next to an…

MONTREAL – Paul McGinley, a 29-year-old bachelor, has reported feeling an overwhelming wave of personal shame after seeing how many sets of chopsticks were included in the delivery he just received to his one-bedroom apartment. Upon…

GUELPH, ON – Local accounts manager Mary Nierling confirmed today that there are only three meals she knows how to make and she is completely disgusted by all of them at this point. “I was really proud of these meals when I first learned to…