US Trade War

WASHINGTON D.C. – Using a fresh browser tab on a secure device, sources confirm that US President Donald Trump has, for the first time in his life, done a google search to find out what the word “Tariff” means. Reports indicate the search…

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that shook global markets and surprised even some supporters, President Donald Trump announced major tariffs on all products made outside the United States, entirely intended as retaliation for the death of…

OTTAWA – With US President Trump ramping up his economic attacks on Canada and Europe, Prime Minister Mark Carney has enacted a top secret plan to mobilize Canada’s most highly-specialized fighting unit: celebrated indie-rock collective…

TORONTO – Following reports of Trump Cabinet members including journalists on private Signal threads, Trump officials have reportedly texted similar plans for an invasion of Canada to anchor of CBC’s The National, Ian Hanomansing. Echoing a…

EDMONTON – Following a Breitbart podcast interview where Danielle Smith recalled requesting the Trump administration pause tariffs in order to help Pierre Poilievre’s campaign, the Alberta Premier insisted this did not amount to foreign…

OTTAWA – As US President Trump’s unilaterally-launched trade war continues, Canadians have struck back with counter-tariffs on a valued American item: the little Canadian flag patches Americans put on their luggage while travelling abroad.…

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of accusations that he is singling Canada out with his economic attacks, US President Donald Trump has assured the press that he will also eventually financially decimate the rest of the world as well. “A…

WASHINGTON D.C. – With Ontario Premier Doug Ford currently visiting White House officials, some analysts are concerned US President Donald Trump might try to corrupt the earnest. “Up here in Queens Park, Premier Ford’s conduct is famously…

WASHINGTON D.C. – Faced with a growing number of airplane crashes caused in part by aggressive cuts to FAA staffing, President Donald Trump has solved the problem by pivoting his focus towards causing a stock market crash instead. “I’m the…

WASHINGTON D.C. – Following a robust initial showing, US President Donald J. Trump has announced to Canadians that he is unable to keep his strong tariffs going, in part “due to American booze”. White House insiders explain that Trump’s…