vaccines

GEORGIAN BAY, ON – Stacey Amber, a woman who has told you on many occasions without provocation she “doesn’t get gender pronouns” has requested you use “vaccine-hesitant” when addressing her. “It’s really about respecting and creating a…

The government has approved several COVID vaccines for widespread use, and lots of us are debating which one we should get. Worry no longer, because I did the dirty work for you: I got my hands on every COVID vaccine, and here’s how they…

TORONTO – Faced with questions as to why Ontario is not vaccinating more people, Premier Doug Ford insisted that hundreds of thousands of eligible residents have, for some reason, not signed up to receive the shots he constantly claims his…

QUEEN’S PARK – While announcing this week’s province-wide shutdown, Ontario Premier Doug Ford added that he is positive his administration is close to solving the current health crisis, citing the age-old adage of “3rd waves the charm.” “As…

With a significant portion of Americans indicating opposition to getting a coronavirus vaccine, debate has risen over the potential use of vaccine passports, or digital vaccination records that could be required for travel or to enter…

CAMBRIDGE, MA – University of Phoenix scholar and die-hard Facebook scroller Dr. Devan Leeland has stated he would rather die than risk dying from the AstraZeneca vaccine. “It’s really just about understanding the science,” said Dr.…

TORONTO – With Ontario in the midst of a third wave of the COVID Pandemic, Ontario Premier and former hash dealer Doug Ford has proven to be absolutely terrible at getting residents the pharmaceutical drugs known as vaccines that they…

TORONTO – Under pressure for keeping thousands of doses of vaccines in storage rather than administer them, Premier Ford reassured Ontarians this morning that these vaccines will be sold to the highest bidder as soon as possible. “It may…

TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is unwillingly to administer all the vaccines the federal government has acquired and supplied to Ontario because he has named each one and grown attached. “My friends, these are my friends,” began…

Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson speaks during a news conference held by the National Rifle Association (NRA) in Washington, D.C., December 21, 2012. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters ) Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson, a Republican, said Sunday…