Vol 60: Issue 43

SANTA FE, NM—Offering fans a tantalizing glimpse into what he’s been working on for nearly 15 years, bestselling author George R.R. Martin announced this week that he had written every “and” that would appear in his long-awaited novel The…

KANSAS CITY, MO—Quieting doubts from supporters that he wasn’t focused enough on getting a win on the board for the Aryan people, NFL place-kicker Harrison Butker insisted Tuesday that he wouldn’t let politics distract him from the upcoming…

NEW YORK—Featuring nearly identical video footage in two separate $25 million ad buys, the Donald Trump and Kamala Harris campaigns both debuted new commercials Tuesday that attempt to win support for their respective candidates with a…

STANFORD, CA—Concluding that the window in which to give themselves a little pat on the back was rapidly closing, a report released Monday by Stanford University found that Americans needed to cut carbon emissions by 3% in order to tell…

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to sow further doubt about the vice president’s employment history, Donald Trump accused Kamala Harris Monday of lying about having a job at the White House. “Phony Kamala says she worked in a junior position at the…

A new fire station in central Germany, which was destroyed in a fire, did not have a fire alarm system, with local officials claiming no alarm was installed because experts had considered it unnecessary. What do you think? “Oh god.…

COUNTERPOINT Have That Guy Killed All right, hello. That guy? The one making the points about me? Have him killed. Dead. I want that very much. I’m serious about this: I want you to go to wherever he lives, as soon as possible, and put a…