Browsing Tag
Vol 60: Issue 47
Dying Relative Sent Quick ‘How You Holding Up?’ Text
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Nancy Mace Introduces Bill That Would Ban Trans Colleagues From Congressional Gymnastics Team
WASHINGTON—With widespread support from her Republican colleagues, Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC) introduced a bill Friday that would ban transgender lawmakers from the congressional gymnastics team. “I don’t care how good their bar routine is—no…
Smuggler Arrested With 300 Tarantulas Strapped To Body
Police in Peru arrested a man caught trying to leave the country with 320 tarantulas, 110 centipedes, and nine bullet ants strapped to his body, with the officials called to action after noticing that his stomach area looked “bulky.” What…
Matt Gaetz Withdraws As Trump’s Attorney General Pick
Former Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz announced that he would withdraw his name from consideration to be President-elect Donald Trump’s attorney general, his path to the role mired by a series of allegations of sexual misconduct, including sex…
Trump Admits Entire Political Career Has Been WWE Storyline To Set Up Match With Cody Rhodes
PALM BEACH, FL—Revealing that the stage was first set in 1999 with his short-lived Reform Party run, President-elect Donald Trump admitted Friday that his entire political career has been a WWE storyline to set up a match with Cody Rhodes.…
Political Profile: Matt Gaetz
President-elect Donald Trump selected Matt Gaetz as his choice for attorney general. Here is what you need to know about the former Florida congressman. Age On Tinder: 22 Height: 6-foot-2 with extra gangle Speaking Style: Scorned…
Joe Biden Given Human Food As Birthday Treat
WASHINGTON—After bending the rules with a celebratory serving in honor of his special day, White House officials confirmed Wednesday that President Joe Biden had been given human food as a birthday treat. “I know he’s not technically…
NASA: Potential Link Between Extraterrestrials, Giant Metal Claw Picking Up Earth
WASHINGTON—Urging the public to remain skeptical until the object could be studied further, NASA officials confirmed during a press conference Wednesday that there was a potential link between extraterrestrials and the giant metal claw…
Neo-Nazis March In Ohio
A group of about a dozen neo-Nazis marched through Columbus, OH carrying Nazi flags and shouting expressions of white power, achieving their apparent goal of rattling not just people in Columbus, but a wider audience online. What do you…