Vol 60: Issue 52

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—With security checkpoints having been set up near every exit, New York Jets fans were reportedly stopped and asked to sign nondisclosure agreements Sunday before leaving MetLife Stadium. “By signing this document, you…

Scientists have for the first time created mouse stem cells from the genes of a single-celled life form, using these newly generated stem cells to help form a living, breathing mouse from a developing embryo. What do you think? “So…

LAS VEGAS—Stressing how much it meant to Mrs. Claus’ sister to be included for the first time in the family business, Santa Claus confirmed Monday that as their present this year, all children would be receiving one of the bags of glitter…

PHILADELPHIA—Weighing in on the chaotic events unfolding in one of those Middle Eastern–looking countries, Americans reported feeling glad Monday that ISIS had finally been defeated or something to that effect. “It’s so awesome how those…