Vol 61: Issue 7

Kendrick Lamar Awarded Nobel Beef Prize - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: February 14, 2025 More News in Photos Explore Tags…

Kendrick Lamar Awarded Nobel Beef Prize - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: February 14, 2025 More News in Photos Explore Tags…

The U.S. Coast Guard has been searching for tar balls that began showing up on South Florida beaches, but so far the source of the black muck remains a mystery. What do you think? “Pretty mild as far as harbingers go.” Ella Bowers,…

The U.S. Coast Guard has been searching for tar balls that began showing up on South Florida beaches, but so far the source of the black muck remains a mystery. What do you think? “Pretty mild as far as harbingers go.” Ella Bowers,…

The U.S. Coast Guard has been searching for tar balls that began showing up on South Florida beaches, but so far the source of the black muck remains a mystery. What do you think? “Pretty mild as far as harbingers go.” Ella Bowers,…

The skyrocketing price of eggs have caused some shoppers to consider keeping their own backyard laying hens, though experts say there are drawbacks that may make starting a chicken coop more expensive than many believe. What do you think?…

Sexually transmitted infections, also known as STIs or STDs, affect millions of Americans every year. The Onion debunks the many misconceptions people have about STIs. MYTH: STI tests are inconvenient. FACT: The clinic will mail your penis…

Elon Musk Humps Nuclear Football - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: February 13, 2025 More News in Photos Explore Tags Read More…

SPARTA, OH—Setting itself apart as a uniquely innocuous object, a wooden spoon is the only thing in local man Patrick Davies’ life that is not currently giving him cancer, sources confirmed Thursday. Unlike every other physical item…

BOSTON—Saying he was more than willing to go along with the request to avoid conflict, local internet user Dan Filmeyer reportedly clicked a box to allow all cookies Thursday so the website he was browsing wouldn’t be mad at him. “Ah, man,…