Jesus' Coming Back
Browsing Tag

Vol 61: Issue 7

Trump Orders Treasury To Stop Minting Pennies

President Donald Trump directed the Treasury Department to stop minting new pennies, citing the rising cost of producing the one-cent coin. What do you think? “But nickels just don’t taste the same!” Hasan Rahaman, Party Consultant…

Dunkin’ Pastries Included In Massive Recall

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recalled about 2 million baked goods sold nationwide, including some doughnuts and coffee rolls purchased at Dunkin’, due to concerns the products might be contaminated with listeria. What do you think?…

Jerry Jones Signs 15-Year, $500 Million Life Extension

ARLINGTON, TX—In a milestone deal in which the Dallas Cowboys owner renewed his commitment to this mortal coil for the foreseeable future, Jerry Jones announced Wednesday that he had signed a 15-year, $500 million life extension. “I’m over…

Man So Hungry He Could Eat An Orange

HARTFORD, CT—Telling his skeptical friends that he was in no way being hyperbolic as he described his ravenous state, local man Will Childress reportedly swore Wednesday that he was so hungry he could eat an orange. “Man, my stomach has…

Long Time No Semen

Long Time No Semen - The Onion Cartoons Share Published: February 11, 2025 More Cartoons Explore Tags Vol 61: Issue 7 Read More

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More