vomiting

LOS ANGELES—In a bold new campaign aimed at reversing recent declines in monthly subscribers, a new Tinder ad reportedly told lapsed users this week that they will come back to the dating app like a dog to its own vomit. “Just as a fool to…

ANN ARBOR, MI—The bile-covered coins marking an inflection point in the measure of economic sentiment, a University of Michigan report released Monday found that consumer confidence was sky-high after every U.S. resident began vomiting up…

According to a study published in Nature, the nausea and vomiting in the first trimester of pregnancy experienced by more than two-thirds of women are caused by one hormone called GDF15, with the amount of that hormone correlating directly…

BOSTON—Overtaking Philadelphia for the top spot in the latest ranking published by U.S. News & World Report, Boston has been named the best city in which to vomit everywhere. “An education hub with a vibrant sports culture and many…

CHICAGO—Scanning the public transit vehicle for even one superficially healthy passenger, local man Will Ossers reportedly searched a crowded bus Friday for the least-wounded person to sit next to. “Hmm, would I rather sit next to someone…

KNOXVILLE, TN—Using his vomit to carefully connect the dots, local hungover man Dennis Moen reportedly pieced together his previous night on Thursday by what he was throwing up. “Okay, so I must have stopped at a hot dog stand at some…

DOTHAN, AL—Offering accolades for the homemade puke it grew up eating, a local barn swallow told reporters Friday that its mother made the best vomit in the world. “I know everyone says this, but no one can regurgitate like my mom does,”…