war conflict

HOUSTON—Calling the popular musician traitorous for failing to support President George W. Bush in a time of crisis, thousands of country stations across America reportedly refused to play Beyoncé’s music Thursday after the artist condemned…

“Donald was simply ringing a warning bell. God I love bells, don’t you? Cowbell, handbell, full circle, and carillon. of course. Have you heard a bonshō? Or an agogô? God, they are all just incredible. I just can’t get enough of those…

WASHINGTON—In an address from the White House carried live on television, President Joe Biden gave the nation the nuclear launch codes Monday in case anything were ever to happen to him. “Folks, I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon,…

Start SlideshowMany believe that a once-strong military composed of straight white men has become weak due to a liberal obsession with inclusion. The Onion asked Americans to explain why the U.S. military is too woke, and this is what they…

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KHAN YUNIS, GAZA—In a brutal scene of death and destruction that claimed the lives of countless innocent bystanders, reporters confirmed Friday that a dozen Palestinians had been killed in a recent operation by the Israel Defense Forces to…

The Colorado Supreme Court banned President Donald Trump from appearing on the state’s Republican presidential primary ballot, citing the Constitution’s insurrection clause and Trump’s conduct during the Jan. 6, 2021 attack on the U.S.…

TEL AVIV—Addressing observers concerned about the toll of the nation’s ongoing incursion into Gaza, Israeli officials assured critics Friday that it was doing everything possible to minimize civilians. “To those expressing apprehension…

WASHINGTON—Turning the page on what they acknowledged was a painful chapter in the space agency’s history, NASA officials announced Friday they had decommissioned and removed the last Confederate satellite from Earth’s orbit. “A vital part…

JACKSON, MI—With camouflage-clad members gathered in corner booths and at high-tops throughout the restaurant, sources confirmed Wednesday that every table at a local Applebee’s was populated by a different militia. “Yeah, so those are the…