war conflict

On Saturday, Hamas launched violent attacks on Israel, and Israel has since responded with violent attacks on the Gaza Strip, a bloody escalation of a conflict that has persisted for generations. The Onion tells you what you need to know…

WASHINGTON—Noting that there were still so many lives to be lost, so much pain to be inflicted, and so much blood to be shed, a new report published Monday by researchers at American University found that when there could be an all-out war,…

GAZA CITY, GAZA—The complicity of each and every Palestinian in the violent actions of their militant ruling authority was reportedly on full display Friday morning when dying Gazans received justified criticism for not using their last…

WASHINGTON—Hoping to bring all sides of the issue together, moderate politician Rep. Martin Danforth (D-OH) told reporters Friday that he believed Israel should only kill half of the Palestinians. “This war is a complex issue with valid…

CHICAGO—Affecting countless Americans from coast to coast, hundreds of multipronged Israel-Palestine proxy wars are currently being fought across local Facebook groups, sources confirmed Thursday. “From neighborhood watch groups to…

NEW YORK—Claiming that the humanizing of occupied peoples is not what the newspaper stands for, The New York Times issued an apology Tuesday for reporting on Palestinian deaths. “Our thoughtful and accurate coverage of the Palestinian death…

President Joe Biden’s son Hunter Biden has been indicted by special counsel David Weiss on felony gun charges, with two counts related to false statements in purchasing the firearm and a third count on illegally obtaining a firearm while…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to reach Americans affected by growing income inequality and the soaring cost of food, the U.S. Army launched a new ad campaign this week that touts the military as a great alternative to starving on the streets.…

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Insisting that they wished to demonstrate they were negotiating in good faith, Saudi officials announced Friday they had attempted to normalize ties with Israel by conducting an air strike in Gaza that killed eight…

Start SlideshowFollowing the recent uptick in anti-semitic rhetoric and claims that death camps never existed, the Onion asked holocaust deniers to explain why they deny the holocaust, and this is what they said.AdvertisementPrevious…