weather

The death toll for Hurricane Helene has reached more than 160 and hundreds of Americans are still unaccounted for, as massive swaths of the American South are reeling from the natural disaster. The Dossier has found that not a single…

Temperatures across America have broken 69 degrees, so for an unforgivable portion of the population that means suggesting at any and every opportunity to dine outdoors. That’s fine, just don’t ask me to join you. It’s truly the eighth…

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California is getting hammered with rainwater again this winter after a historic rainfall in 2023 pulled the state out of a years-long drought. On Wednesday, Fox Weather reported the West Coast is bracing for yet another storm system after…

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Close on the heels of the deadly storms currently crossing the U.S., meteorologists are predicting a bomb cyclone blizzard in the Midwest, an arctic blast across 88% of the U.S., thunderstorms across the Southeast, and an East Coast…

BOCA RATON, FL—Letting out several deep moans as she remarked upon the terrible winter storm battering the Midwest, local mom Carrie Whittacker, currently on vacation in southern Florida, reportedly took an almost pornographic pleasure…

Trolls Explain Why They Love Matt GaetzWhile most trolls are primarily confined to the worst corners of the internet, some, like Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), live to wreak havoc in the real world. The Onion asked trolls, shitposters, and…

NEW YORK—In an effort to increase traffic and engagement by inserting mentions of the famous singer, disillusioned journalist Marcus Pruitt begrudgingly added a Taylor Swift reference to an article about the flood in Libya. “The death toll…