Work

CALGARY – Local accounts manager Regina Lackie has discovered her new standing desk has an exciting unexpected benefit – it reminds her of how nice it is to sit down. Lackie purchased a sit-stand desk after her doctor explained to her that…

VICTORIA, BC – Local resin artist Rivka Fiore is singing the praises of side-hustle culture as she celebrates her 500th order on her online site. “It’s been so liberating compared to my office job!”, said a visibly exhausted Fiore. “I’ve…

MENLO PARK, CA – After disappointing results in the latest quarter, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg sent out a notice to his workforce that the company is expelling 11,000 employees from corporeal reality into the dark recesses of the desolate…

TORONTO, ON — In a landmark win for capitalism, a local Torontonian man finds himself busier on his two days off than on the five days he’s at work. “I think this feels right,” said Gary Ma. “I work 40 hours a week, but I still successfully…

TORONTO — After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced yesterday that September 19th would be a nationwide holiday to commemorate the death of Queen Elizabeth II, Ontario Premier Doug Ford immediately declared that, instead of having the…

Sandy Lane, Barbados – A group of Fortune 500 CEOs met over lunch at their Barbados country club to discuss how no one is ever productive when working from home. After two and a half years of working from home, the executives feel anyone…

TORONTO – David Maddux, one of the National Post’s best hate-click generators, has decided to simply re-run his Nobody Wants To Work Anymore column to save himself the time and effort. “I was going to write a brand new column talking about…

WINNIPEG – Local account manager Meghan Gessele was horrified this week to discover that, upon returning to her workstation after using the restroom, an unread email she had left unread was still in existence and still unread. “I really…

WHITBY, ON – Local office worker Lindy Jensen has reportedly started every morning at her job by telling co-workers not to talk to her until she’s had her coffee, despite the caffeine doing nothing to make her any more pleasant to be…

WINNIPEG, MB — After working from home for two years, local man Calvin Richards is pushing to return to the office so he can get back to eating lunches that don’t belong to him. “It’s time we all went back to in-person work. Being in the…