world cuisine

TOKYO—Grasping his stomach and grimacing at the end of the meal, local American tourist Aaron Messner complained to reporters Wednesday that he had hoped to enjoy a time-honored Japanese culinary experience, but his 10,000-calorie…

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INDIANAPOLIS—Admitted with complaints that it had been hard to tell the difference between their fingers and their food, everyone in Unity Medical Center emergency room Friday had bitten a digit off their hand while holding a sandwich,…

NEW YORK—Interrupting testimony as they walked straight up to the former president mid-trial, the Trump boys baked a cake for their father with a gavel hidden inside, court room sources confirmed Wednesday. “We think you’ll find this cake…

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VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Holding the icy brown mass aloft in a vain attempt to inspect it, local man Ralph Freeman confirmed Thursday that he found an unidentifiable beige food item that he froze, like,six months ago. “I think it might be some…

BEVERLY, MA—Explaining that minor inconveniences weren’t worth fretting over, laid-back local man Tom Glickstein told reporters Monday that he felt ready and able to take whatever the sandwich he was currently eating threw his way. “I…

CHICAGO—Reflecting on the once-bustling neighborhood that had been significantly reduced over the years, local residents confirmed Thursday that all that now remained of the city’s Little Italy was a single meatball. “Back when I was…

PRINCETON, NJ—According to research published in the scientific journal Ecology And Evolution, biologists at Princeton University discovered Friday that the modern-day corn dog descended from an ancient aquatic sausage. “It may seem…