World

LUNENBURG, NS – Despite tensions increasing across the globe as Russian president Vladimir Putin again promised swift retaliation and total nuclear annihilation should NATO forces intervene in Ukraine, the sleep of a small kitten, basking…

SHANGHAI—China has locked down tens of millions of its citizens, forbidding them from even leaving homes or apartments, which is leading to starvation and poverty. Still, President Xi Jinping is undeterred, saying these measures are…

OTTAWA, Canada—A swarm of protesters descended on Parliament Hill today to protest the recently proposed and controversial “Don’t Say ‘Eh’” bill. “Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!” chanted Zamboni mechanic and protest organizer Bob Bergeron, adding,…

KYIV—In a devious 4D chess move, Vladimir Putin has ordered all his armored divisions to fly Planned Parenthood flags so no one will criticize them for committing unthinkable genocide against innocent people. "It is very simple," said…