Worldviews

Two Birds With One Stone: Man Protests Racial Injustice, Completes Christmas Shopping In One Trip PHILADELPHIA, PA—Protests over racial injustice erupted in Philly, and not a moment too soon: local man Michael Parsons was getting behind on…

U.S.—As the vote to confirm Amy Coney Barrett passed the Senate today, a great disturbance was felt across the nation's wombs. Mothers around the country confirmed they felt their unborn babies dancing for joy and heard tiny cheers erupting…

Jordan Peterson Returns To Find Americans Worshiping Golden Statue Of Karl Marx, Breaks 12 Rules For Life In Anger TORONTO—After a year-long excursion into the belly of the beast, Dr. Jordan Peterson emerged this week and was dismayed to…

Unhappy With Binary Choice Between God And Satan, People Demand Third-Party Candidate U.S.—Faced with picking one’s destiny for eternity, people across the world are expressing discontent over the simple binary choice offered to people…

Antifa Rioter Currently Burning Down Neighborhood Surprised To Learn Antifa Is Just 'An Idea' PORTLAND, OR—Local Antifa rioter Paxton Parton is currently burning down a black neighborhood. So, he was surprised to learn that Joe Biden had…

MOBILE, AL—A California man who was visiting some friends in Alabama shocked the group when he committed blatant cultural appropriation, saying the word "y'all" even though he was born and raised in Los Angeles. "Listen up -- that ain't…

Thousands Of California Inmates Experience Sudden-Onset Gender Dysphoria After Learning They Can Get Transferred To Women's Prison SACRAMENTO, CA—In a shocking twist no one could have seen coming, thousands of inmates within the California…

Sad: Antifa Rioter Excitedly Runs Out To Burn Down Neighborhood Only To Realize He Already Burned It Down In The Last Riot KENOSHA, WI—Tragic! This Antifa rioter was excited to go on a road trip and burn down a black neighborhood, only to…

Scientists Walk Back 'Life On Venus' Claims After Revelation It Was Just An Unborn Baby U.S.—Astronomers claiming to have detected signs of life on Venus were forced to walk back their claims after it was revealed that the supposed "life"…

Breaking: Paypal Now Available Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's…