Worldviews

HOUSTON, TX — A so-called conservative was spotted exercising while wearing noise-canceling earbuds DESPITE previous claims of being totally against cancel culture."Do you remember what they did to Louis C.K. and Dave Chappelle?" total…

CHICAGO, IL — With the month of June coming to a close and various consumer brands across the retail spectrum looking for ways to differentiate themselves in a non-Pride Month marketplace, makers of the popular sports drink Gatorade have…

SEATTLE, WA — A man sitting in state prison for exposing himself to kids at a local playground is kicking himself that he didn't just wait and do it at a pride parade instead."Man, I'm so mad at myself!" convicted sex offender Lester…

AUSTIN, TX — A local man found himself facing charges of blasphemy after he was caught walking on the city's hallowed rainbow crosswalk without removing his sandals in reverence."Everyone knows that our local Rainbow Walk is holy ground,"…

WORLD — Facing increased backlash and negative public attention amid what is perceived by many to be an aggressive assault on traditional values, Satan has officially asked the LGBTQ+ community to tone down its efforts."Can you guys pump…

BEVERLY HILLS, CA — A local surgeon specializing in gender reassignment has come under heavy fire recently, as his critics complain he is still stubbornly only offering "male" or "female" as options."This doctor is so behind the times,"…

NASHVILLE, TN — Movie Night at the Walsh household was thrown into turmoil last night, as political commentator Matt Walsh's family pleaded with him to let them watch something other than his documentary film What is a Woman? at some point…

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Human rights activists planned large protests in the coming weeks after learning retail giant Target had committed the unprecedented atrocity of moving Pride displays back 20 feet from their previously prominent location…

HELENA, MT — Montana trans lawmaker Zooey Zephyr, formerly known as Zachary Raasch, feels strongly that he has nailed his audition as Bud Light's next spokesperson after leading loud demonstrations in the Montana State Capitol last week."I…

NEW YORK, NY — Planned Parenthood CEO Alexis McGill Johnson issued a dire warning in response to Mattel's new Down Syndrome Barbie, saying it might cause young, impressionable girls to think that all human life has value."Here at Planned…