Worldviews

So, you've learned from Stacey Abrams that you can deal with high food and gas prices by murdering your children - but what other problems in your life could be solved by simply offing your kids? Ms. Abrams has graciously compiled a list of…

ATLANTA, GA — Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams made headlines this week by saying women can offset the cost of children by aborting them. Evidently seeking to spread her message further, Abrams has been seen interrupting…

AMERICA — Across the nation, thousands of religious fanatics have once again gathered to worship teams of unusually large men trying to move a piece of leather."Never miss a Sunday," said Brad Larsen, taking his usual seat. "I've done my…

SACRAMENTO, CA — This week, California Pastor John MacArthur wrote an open letter reprimanding California Governor Gavin Newsom after the governor took out billboards across the country promoting abortion services using quotes from Jesus.…

SACRAMENTO, CA – In a nationwide campaign to promote abortion tourism in California, Gavin Newsom has purchased ads in red states encouraging women to travel to California to kill their babies. As part of the campaign, he has also taken to…

NEW HAVEN, CT — Philosophy professor and Fascism Expert James Stanley announced on Twitter that he had found fascism in America, Italy, Nigeria, and several other countries.Stanley, the Ariel Urowsky Chair of Philosophy and Fascism at Yale,…

JUNEAU, AK — According to sources, a local man who is apparently unfamiliar with people believes people are basically good."Yeah, man, I think pretty much everyone is good at heart," said the man who has never seen the contents of another…

U.S. — With the growing prevalence of teachers isolating and conditioning children for sexual activity, the nation is wishing there was some word they could use to describe people who isolate and condition children for sexual activity."I…

U.S. — The Gideons International, a charitable organization famous for placing Bibles in hotel drawers around the world, has announced a brand new ministry: placing Thomas Sowell books in public school desks in hopes of saving children from…

WEST HILLS, CA — Local 15-year-old girl Anna Brown recently underwent gender reassignment surgery to become a trans boy named Andre Brown. Unfortunately, she's now feeling let down by Demi Lovato, who inspired her to get the surgery in the…