Worldviews

SEATTLE, WA — According to sources, a local woman who calls unborn babies "parasites" has condemned pro-life people for being inhumane."Pro-lifers are so awful and gross," said Minx Wegner while holding a sign reading "flush your fetus down…

Are you a journalist? With Roe v. Wade overturned it's YOUR job to fight back by controlling the language and righteously steering the narrative toward a world in which abortions are safe, legal, free, common, and performed through all 9…

U.S.—Following the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Democrats nationwide have been accusing the Supreme Court of taking rights from “women.” Onlookers have confirmed this to be confusing, as it seems to suggest that Democrats do in fact know…

U.S.—No longer able to keep up with the endlessly fluid definition of the word "woman," Merriam Webster has elected to replace the traditional definition of "adult female person" with a more open-ended "shrug" emoji. "For goodness sake,…

PUGET SOUND, WA—Thousands of teachers who are out of work or on summer break are being forced to frequent playgrounds and shout their sexual preferences to random kids, as they no longer have a classroom full of captive listeners to discuss…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Panic broke out at the Supreme Court building today, June 26, 2015, when a “Bravis B. Goodside” appeared from a green warp zone claiming to be a time traveler. Sources say Bravis described a dark future where the gay agenda…

STARBASE, TX—Talk about a 4D space chess move: Elon Musk has just announced he is returning to the Democratic Party just days after he moved over to the Republican Party. As soon as he made the switch back to the liberal political party,…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In its first big win since the inauguration in 2021, the Biden Administration announced that the Disinformation Governance Board has narrowly outlasted failed subscription program CNN+. Citing the first bit of positive…

RIPON, CA — When an abrupt knock at the door interrupted his Raiders game, local man Joe Castaneda almost overturned his bowl of tortilla chips. Taking the long way to the door to buy time, Castaneda started wracking his brain for any…

PORTLAND, OR—Abortion activists are criticizing the pro-life movement for caring nothing about the health and care of babies after they've been born, and they are expressing their extreme displeasure by destroying free pregnancy resource…