Worldviews

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Panic broke out at the Supreme Court building today, June 26, 2015, when a “Bravis B. Goodside” appeared from a green warp zone claiming to be a time traveler. Sources say Bravis described a dark future where the gay agenda…

STARBASE, TX—Talk about a 4D space chess move: Elon Musk has just announced he is returning to the Democratic Party just days after he moved over to the Republican Party. As soon as he made the switch back to the liberal political party,…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In its first big win since the inauguration in 2021, the Biden Administration announced that the Disinformation Governance Board has narrowly outlasted failed subscription program CNN+. Citing the first bit of positive…

RIPON, CA — When an abrupt knock at the door interrupted his Raiders game, local man Joe Castaneda almost overturned his bowl of tortilla chips. Taking the long way to the door to buy time, Castaneda started wracking his brain for any…

PORTLAND, OR—Abortion activists are criticizing the pro-life movement for caring nothing about the health and care of babies after they've been born, and they are expressing their extreme displeasure by destroying free pregnancy resource…

HADES—Ever since hearing the news of President Biden creating a 'Disinformation Governance Board', George Orwell has been really kicking himself for not thinking of it first. "He nailed it, absolutely nailed it," said a dejected Mr.…

SPRINGFIELD, MA—According to sources, Merriam-Webster quietly updated its definition of the word "Freedom" to match its definition of "Slavery," which the prestigious dictionary claims is more in line with modern use. Freedom was…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Eyewitnesses claim to have seen white smoke emerge from the roof of the carbon-neutral office building of Twitter, Inc., signaling the rare occurrence of employees burning documents in preparation for their new CEO, Elon…

ORLANDO, FL—According to sources reporting from Disney World, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was seen crying outside the entrance in an expensive, designer dress with the words "GROOM THE KIDS" emblazoned across the fabric.…

U.S.—Progressives have announced that men can, in fact, get pregnant, opening the door for men to have opinions on abortion as well. Across the country, men for the first time ever are now experiencing what it’s like to be able to form…