Worldviews

SACRAMENTO, CA—The California Department of Education has rejected 100% of biology textbooks from the state's public school curriculum because they perpetuate outdated backward ideas that there are only two genders, said Governor Gavin…

HOUSTON, TX—Local man and father of a 5-year-old trans pterodactyl Bradley Mingastank is struggling to find the medical care his young dinosaur son needs, as it is very difficult to find species-affirming care in the United States.…

MALIBU, CA—Organizers of the Transgender Day Of Visibility unveiled an updated pride flag this week at a ceremony in Malibu. After running out of colors in the visible light spectrum, the new pride flag features colors that are only visible…

We, The Babylon Bee, have decided to issue an apology. After being caught in a culture-war whirlwind of hatred and bigotry, we published an article naming Rachel Levine our "Man of the Year." Sometimes, even satirists make…

CIMMERIA—Local adventurer and slayer Conan the Barbarian has decided to temporarily lay aside the rich juices of red meat, the stinging wine on his palate, and the mad exultation of battle to pursue an advanced degree in biology at a local…

BABYLON—According to sources not yet thrown into the fiery furnace, The Babylon Bee was taken by Twitter and thrown into a fiery furnace after refusing to worship the massive, gold-trimmed pride flag erected by the great Queen…

U.S.—Planned Parenthood has long been seen as a reliable provider of unborn baby murder. Unfortunately, however, more and more women around the country are choosing to let their children live, which has hurt Planned Parenthood's bottom line…

It's been over 6 months since the Texas abortion ban went into effect... 6 months since conservative Nazis decided to regulate women's bodies—just like in The Handmaid's Tale. The irreparable damage done is unspeakable, as thousands and…

OTTAWA—Truckers taking part in the Freedom Convoy have had their GoFundMe page reinstated after employing a clever tactic: burning cop cars, trashing minority neighborhoods, and looting Nike Stores to trick GoFundMe into allowing them back…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—AFT President Randi Weingarten spoke out today to clarify that the teachers union official “pro-choice” stance only applies to killing babies, not to parents being able to decide where their children attend…