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Facebook Entirely Memorialized Accounts

PALO ALTO, CA—Responding to reports that Facebook maintains a large and active user base, Facebook parent company Meta confirmed Wednesday that the pioneering social media platform was now entirely memorialized accounts. “There hasn’t been…

Politicians Explain Why TikTok Should Be Banned

While TikTok remains the most popular social media platform among today’s youth, many critics accuse the Chinese government of using it as a tool to spy on Americans. The Onion asked several prominent politicians why the app should be…

What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Coworkers should never be seen outside of work, and especially not on dating apps. If you have the misfortune of encountering a fellow employee on Tinder, here is what you should say.Advertisement“Someone is using your pictures on Tinder to…

Logan Paul Challenges Abandoned Pet Pig To Boxing Match

DORADO, PUERTO RICO—Vowing to put the animal in her place “once and for all,” internet personality and professional wrestler Logan Paul publicly challenged his former pet pig Pearl to a boxing match on Friday. “I heard you’ve been oinking a…

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