xenomorph

WASHINGTON—Touting the Intuitive Machines moon mission as a success despite some difficulty landing, NASA released a video Wednesday that showed the Odysseus spacecraft crashing through the ceiling of a female alien locker room. “Get out of…

WAITSFIELD, VT—Feeling like a failure upon realizing that he had never even been to space, local 38-year-old Mike Arroyo told reporters Monday that he assumed he would have settled down on a distant monster-filled planet by now. “I dunno, I…