zoology

Twenty-three sets of fraternal and identical twins graduated from Pollard Middle School in Needham, MA, where they made up 10% of the total class. What do you think?“I wish I would’ve graduated with my twin instead of absorbing him in the…

CHICAGO—Noting there’s no price to admission, local stepdad Dale Tatum claimed Wednesday that watching raccoons fight by the dumpster was better than any zoo. “Look at those little furry shits go at it! Won’t get that at a damn zoo,” said…

GENEVA—Promising the fastest and most accurate results in the market, Swiss Precision Diagnostics introduced a new at-home Clearblue test Tuesday that tells users if they’re beautiful. “There’s nothing worse than uncertainty, but with the…

GARY, IN—Confirming the results after extensive medical imaging, a team of doctors at Indiana University Northwest reported Wednesday a case of one twin absorbing another at the age of 62. “It’s more common than you think,” said Dr. Joseph…

NEW YORK—Saying the rapid gains had caused her to reflect on her dietary habits, local fetus Sarah Lehman reportedly panicked Monday after ballooning up to 500 times her original weight. “I’ve gotta slow down with the placenta, man—some of…

Advertisement2 / 28They All Have Secret LanguagesList slidesThey All Have Secret LanguagesThat’s French they’re speaking, you uncultured hog.Advertisement3 / 28Being A Twin Is The Only Way To Reunite Your Estranged Parents Via A Comical…