Family Enjoys Lone Sunday Of Year They Actually Have Good Excuse For Being Late To Church

RED RIVERFORK, NM—The Matthesons are late for church every single Sunday, week in and week out. In fact, sources close to the family claim they haven’t heard a single opening worship song in over seven years, long before they had children.

But there’s one Sunday that the Matthesons are especially thankful for: the Sunday in spring during which the time jumps forward an hour for Daylight Savings Time.

“We’re 20 minutes late to service every week, but on Daylight Savings Sunday we have ourselves a built-in excuse,” Mr. Mattheson told reporters Sunday as he grabbed the final donut in the church foyer and filled his travel mug with lukewarm coffee. “We’re really thankful.”

According to Mattheson, the family had been running low on excuses lately, so this was much-needed relief from trying to drum up some half-hearted explanation for their tardiness to mutter to the greeters on their way in. “We’ve blamed traffic, illness, lack of good parking spaces, pretty much everything you can think of. Daylight Savings Sunday is the only day we can just shrug sheepishly at anyone who notices us and slip into our spot three rows from the back.”

“Praise the Lord for His mercies—they really are new every morning, especially the morning we lose an hour,” he added as he quietly opened the back door and led his family to their usual spot.

At publishing time, the family had stated they were looking forward to the end of Daylight Savings Time, the lone day on which they would be only five minutes late to church.