Jesus' Coming Back

Complementarian Man Authoritatively Delegates All Decision Making To Wife

PLYMOUTH, MI—In what he dubbed a “fortunate loophole,” local Christian man and staunch complementarian Jonathan Atley confirmed Thursday that he has now authoritatively delegated the decision-making process to his wife, Karis.

The man stated he will exercise his headship of the home by assigning all important decisions to his wife and doing whatever she says.

“I hereby permanently and irrevocably—but with absolute authority to do so of my own sovereign right—abdicate my divine responsibility to rule my household and agree to willingly and voluntarily submit to you, honey,” he declared after his wife asked him what movie he wanted to go see tonight. “I will fearlessly lead my household by following my own directive to follow your directive on everything.”

“The great thing about this is I don’t have to do anything, but I can blame her as my subordinate if anything goes wrong,” he told reporters later.

At publishing time, Atley had announced he would graciously allow his wife to continue all her previous work both inside and outside the home, so as not to rob her of her divinely bestowed femininity.

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